5 years ago, I was granted sole custody of my 2 children (now 7&8). It says in my court papers that "visitation is at the mother's discretion".
I moved over 700 kms away to better our lives.
The father of the children got to see them last year. I took time off work and travelled back to him for an extended (10 day) visit. He was never alone with the children, but the paternal grandmother was.
I turned in my employment paperwork to take another vacation. This time I'm willing to let him have the kids without me for 6 weeks. Still 700 km away. I'm dropping them off and picking them up again.
I homeschool them and maintain full time (+ overtime) employment. I'm exhausted with the demands of responsibility between homeschool, work and kids.
He and his mother live together, so I feel the children will be safe.
Am I being too generous with letting him have them for 6 weeks without me??
No, you are not being too generous, you need a break, the children need to know who their father and his side of the family are, and you trust his mother. Make plans to talk on the phone often. I don’t think it’s fair that you have to take them the entire way, is it possible to meet halfway or have their father and grandmother bring them home? At the very least, perhaps you could ask them to pay for one of the trips. Let the grandmother know that if the children get very homesick (or her son gets overly stressed) and she thinks they need to come home early to let you know, with the children so young it is a possibility. Write their routines down and ask the adults to stick as close to it as possible. As they get a little older, and start to ask about the separation, only tell them all of you on both sides of the family love them very much, and that it had nothing to do with them. I hope it all goes well and leads to many more happy summer visits and more breaks for you!
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