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How do I politely tell my friend I don't want to be involved in the pyramid scheme they want me to be a part of? They were looking out for me, but the business they want me involved in seems dubious and illogical. I don't have a job, but the way this mentorship program seems to work is you have to recruit people to get to the next level, and the more people you bring into it the more money you make, and more entrepreneurial advice they give you. I don't know what to do.
It is a very awkward feeling to turn down a pyramid scheme by a friend, but you have to do it and do it firmly. I have had to do this two or three times in my life so far. It gets easier with practice. Your friends are not looking out for you, they are looking out for themselves, because they are looking for more people to get into the scheme so they can move up. Say no thank you to watching a video about it, looking at a catalogue, refuse to have anything to do with it. Say you are not interested. Repeat that every time they bring it up, you can be kind and smile and change the subject. If they get on your nerves tell them, you already said no and would you please stop bringing it up. One lady I knew was so pushy about it I ended up avoiding her for awhile and she got the idea and dropped the subject. Do not purchase anything they are selling to help them out, I have done that, and it was not worth it. Learning to say no is an important life lesson, you can do it!
Is it normal to be scared after being followed home? I had this happen to me recently but when I told my parents it scared me they just told me I was being overdramatic and to get over myself. I cant tell if I'm being overdramatic or not and its really messing with my head.
YES it’s perfectly normal to be scared by that! Once someone followed my sister home slowly late at night and she walked up to a house pretending it was hers and the car stopped so she walked in! Luckily, the door was open and the nice (and surprised) couple there let her use their phone to get a ride home. It is normal to be scared, maybe not normal to stay scared, this is why your parents are telling you to get over it, although I hope they were at least a little sympathetic! These things happen unfortunately, and you can’t let it scare you into being afraid to go out. What you do is make sure you are always safe. Walk with at least two other people, stay on main, well lit streets, always have your phone, walk with your keys between your fingers and walk in an assertive manner, shoulders back and chin up. Do not hesitate to call the police if it happens again. Always let someone know what time to expect you home. It was a scary experience for you and it’s over now, try not to think about it anymore, you know what to do to prevent it from happening when you are alone, if it happens again, you have plan, this will stop it from messing with your head, and you will be OK.
How do I tell my brother and his wife that they can't stay here anymore? Its time for them to find a new home.
Am I being impatient? They are having their home entirely renovated and it’s taking a long time because the workers there aren't doing a good job. It’s been more than 2 months already. In the beginning, he said it would take them only 2 weeks and I had no problem letting my brother stay with me for that much time. But weeks has turned into months. It's gonna be 3 months on April 27. My brother doesn't work, and his wife works but she left her job some time ago. They're both kinda useless. They sleep in all day, lay around and eat all the food. His wife does do a lot of work around the house. She babysits my one year old daughter, changes her and cleans the house. She helps my wife a lot, but it doesn't make up for them staying here for more than 2 months. I work and pay my own bills and we can't afford more than 3 of us. They also eat a lot of food. His wife drank all the soda that I had bought, and he eats a lot. I can't keep taking care of them and my wife is more annoyed than I am. Am I being impatient with them? Or do I have the right to be slightly annoyed. I can't just kick them out in the streets. I don't know what to do.
No, you are not being impatient at all, on the contrary, you have been a patient and generous host, and anyone would be slightly annoyed! It has been more than six weeks since they were supposed to move, and that is more than enough time to host them, especially since neither of them work and are home all day, not to mention the grocery and others bills. You have to let them know that they can stay until the first of the month, you and your wife can tell them together, speak the truth, that it was supposed to be two weeks and you can no longer afford to keep them there, that you appreciate the help with the baby, but the living situation is no longer tenable. If they offer money to stay longer, politely decline, you do not want them in a rental situation or you might have a harder time getting them out. If they ask why they can’t stay perhaps your wife can have some vague answer prepared about her family visiting soon. They are adults and will figure out what to do, it's not your problem. They can stay in their own home while it’s being renovated, surely one room should be livable by now, they can stay in a tent or trailer in their own yard, they can stay in a hotel or rent a cottage, or stay with someone else, they have a lot of options. If they don’t have any money that isn’t your problem, you didn’t ask them to spend all of their money on renovations while not working. Stick to your guns, be polite, and if they don’t leave by the first give them a helping hand by bringing their belongings to their house for them. Also, until then, hide your pop.
My sister in law eats meat and I don't want her at my summer get together. I'm having a gathering in July for my pre wedding get together, all girls, friends and family. I already invited my five closest besties. We're all vegan and I also invited my mom and aunt who are vegan as well. So I have a problem. I have two sister in laws one is vegetarian BUT my other sister in law eats meat so I honestly don't want her there because it's going to annoy the hell out of me and 2 she probably won't want tofu burgers for dinner because she didn't eat them last time and it's her problem not mine. Do you think it's okay to leave her out? Idk how to do it though 😐 Also, she adds nothing to the vegan conversation. Like we talk about vegan movements and actions and animal rights and she sits there in silence because she's convinced she's "omnivore." I'm not trying to be mean I just think meat eaters are not my type of people.
Of course, you must invite her. No one can “annoy the hell out of you” unless you let them. Did you ever think that maybe you are very annoying to her? Is it possible you have an eating disorder? I have seen research that says some people are using veganism to hide an eating disorder. Why would you care what another adult eats and why do you have to have a “vegan conversation” at your pre wedding get together? The mature (and polite) thing to do as a hostess is to start conversations that are fun and that everyone can join, which means no politics, religion or big causes like animal rights. To say any group is “not your type of people” is very narrow minded and judgmental because you would have to meet every omnivore in the world to form an accurate opinion.
Put out a variety of vegan food and just have a good time. Your sister-in-law will not be expecting you to cook meat for her, I can guarantee she knows you are vegan, and she will only attend to be polite and if she cannot find an excuse to get out of it. You have a lot more stressful times coming up with the actual wedding day so just let this go, mind your own business, do not discuss veganism at your party and relax and enjoy. Do not discuss this with your fiancé or soon to be mother in law, it will only create tension.
My boyfriend and I just moved into our first apartment together. He works a full-time job and I'm staying at home. I'm just waiting on his work truck to get fixed and then I can drive his car and find a job.
These past couple of days have been rough. I love the apartment and so far, the area in which we live but I hate being by myself. I'm new to a big city. I don't know anyone who lives near me. I can't go anywhere on weekdays cause of not having a car. I get bored and lonely and sad in the apartment alone and I'm not sure what to do. I'm thinking about going to Church on Sundays as a first step since my boyfriend doesn't work. Any ideas?
Wow that is a huge adjustment for you, a new city, a new apartment, living with your boyfriend for the first time, give yourself a break that is a lot! Because you hate being by yourself and don’t have a vehicle yet, can you go out every morning for a long walk and become familiar with your new neighbourhood? Or learn the public transit system? Find the parks, library and museums and it will feel more like a community eventually. Once you have a job you will be busy meeting local people and you won’t feel alone. If time permits you could volunteer somewhere local until then. Going to Church on Sunday is a great idea, and a nice way to meet people. You will not go insane, those feelings are normal and temporary, my mom told me it takes six months to feel at home in a new place and I have found that to be true.
So, we just watched the verdict of the Derek Chauvin trial, and I was almost in tears, happy that he was convicted. My dad starts talking about how there is another camera angle of the video of him kneeing on Floyd and that he wasn’t on his neck. My dad is acting like he wants to prove that a white cop would not murder a black man. My dad also is racist towards Arabs, thinking that they’ll be dangerous which is so wrong. It pisses me off, and I almost don’t want to have a relationship with him anymore. Any advice?
That must have been so shocking for you! Yes, your dad is so wrong. He probably learned it growing up, and hopefully this trial will make him, and a lot of other racist people think differently. I can understand why this would make you want some distance from him, I abhor racism. I think you have to say something (if you have not already) like Dad, don’t be so racist! EVERY TIME he says something racist, call him out on it. You can also tell him how you feel, that you almost don’t want to have a relationship with him anymore because of this. If saying something out loud to him will just cause an argument, you can leave the room every time he says something racist, so he still gets your point. If you don’t live with him and want to set a new boundary where you don’t see him very often, that is perfectly understandable.
Hiiii Dianna! The past year or so I’ve been feeling like something is missing in my life...and it doesn’t make sense. I am happily engaged, living in a place which I love with a job I enjoy, but I feel like something is wrong and no matter how much I go over everything in my head I can’t work out what it is. I did decide that it was my job and especially the changes to my job with Covid, and I’ve started changing careers a bit but that’s a process. I think that’s the right decision, but it still hasn’t gotten rid of this feeling...I don’t want to change any other major part of my life, what if I destroy it :( so how do I get rid of this feeling? What on earth could it be pointing at?
Do not worry, what you are feeling is very common and you won’t destroy your life. Covid has really changed our lives so much, I think everyone is feeling the way you are to a degree and it will go away once we are past this. Like in wartimes, I think people are also picking up on all the grief in the world. Don’t minimize it, these are hard times. If the upcoming wedding is stressful, consider postponing it until you feel 100% ready. If you felt you needed to make job changes and started towards making them that is fantastic, good for you, that will eventually make a big difference. When is the last time you had your blood checked? Could your iron be low? That would make you feel draggy. What is your dream? Is that something you are working towards? You will feel more fulfilled if you work towards your dream. Are you doing anything creative? We all have creative gifts and will feel flat if we do not use them, no matter what it is take a small step towards a creative project if you haven’t been. You will know the right thing for you when you lose track of time while doing it. Are you getting enough exercise? Are you paying attention to your spiritual health? We are made up of spirit, mind and body and if any of these are neglected you will not feel whole. I figured out a long time ago that I cannot be enthusiastic and depressed at the same time, Abraham Lincoln said you are as happy as you make up your mind to be. Try to be enthusiastic and you might feel better. Make an effort to laugh at everything and anything that’s the least bit funny. There are many studies on the therapeutic effects of laughter, even if it feels unfamiliar at the beginning. Write down at least 3 things to be grateful for everyday, and you will soon feel your spirits lift. As an adult life does not feel fulfilling all of the time, it comes and goes. If none of this helps perhaps you could try journaling. Then you could see what comes out and hopefully you can put your finger on exactly what’s bothering you. Hang in there, it sounds like you are doing great and with a few small changes you will feel even better.
My house is driving me mad. I'm on maternity at the moment and have nothing to do all day but clean it, but somehow it never feels clean. I've donated maybe 70% of my unnecessary possessions too. Yesterday, for example, I repainted my kitchen white and scrubbed the floors, today I deep cleaned the oven and bath. Still feels filthy to me, all I can smell in the kitchen now is drains?! Our drains are fine, so I have no idea why I'm smelling it. As we rent from a family member, we can't do much to upgrade it and it is a very old, leaky, crumbly house. What do people do to make their house feel really clean? Any tricks/tips because I feel like I'm going insane 😂
Oh, your letter brings back memories. I know exactly what is happening, you are nesting. This is a very normal part of pregnancy and a very good sign that all is well. Luckily, it doesn’t’ last forever. Your house sounds spotless! You have de cluttered and deep cleaned. Now it is time to get ready for the baby, which is the fun part! Get everything ready, clothes, sheets, diapers etc. Get your own bag ready too. Put some baking soda down the drains, keep the plug in and buy a couple of those non scented odor sponges (they come in a container like a margarine container and work wonders) because old houses often smell musty in the spring when the ground is thawing. Open the windows a crack to let in the spring air. Pregnant women can often smell things a mile away, I could not sleep once because of the smell of paint and I searched the house in the night until I found a gym bag with paint clothes in it and had to put it outside. My grandma said if your windows and floors are clean, the whole house will look clean. You are definitely not going insane. Don’t forget to take the time to put your feet up and rest every day, take advantage of this time off to read or watch your favourite show because once the baby comes you won’t have time and you want to go into labour as well rested as possible. This too shall pass, hang in there and your amazing sense of smell will go back to normal when the baby is born.
How do I deal with my grandpa judging me for getting pregnant? He thinks sex, pregnancy and pregnant women are gross. I know he is being beyond ridiculous and immature, but I can't help feeling very hurt that my grandfather thinks I'm "yucky".
What an unusual reaction to becoming a great grandfather. Did you ask the other women who are mothers in your family how they dealt with him when they were pregnant? I would be interested in how your grandmother and mother feel about this. They might have some tips. Your Grandpa is set in his ways and unlikely to change at his age. I would avoid him and/or ignore him. You can certainly let him know how your feel, but please try not to feel very hurt, it is his issue, not yours, he feels the same about all pregnant women, not just you, and it won’t last forever. Hopefully, he is more pleasant to be around after the baby is born.
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