Should I still get my 20-year-old niece with autism an Easter plush and Easter candy? We're having a very small Easter gathering that I am hosting. Just some friends with children and the total gathering of people is under 10. There will be 3 kids in attendance (including my own 2 children) and I will be providing Easter baskets complete with candy and a rabbit plush for each child. I have also organized a chocolate/candy egg hunt for the children.
The problem is (not really a problem, just the age that makes this situation difficult) is that my sisters 20 y/old daughter with autism is attending. She has the mind of a child and always will. The other kids are between 5-8 years old.
I don't want to exclude the girl but that would also mean spending an extra $25 for her basket (if I'm being fair and giving her everything else the other kids are getting) and not to be mean, but I really don't want her taking all of the eggs in the egg hunt from the children.
What would you do in this situation? Would you treat the girl as an adult and tell her she gets to "sit at the adult table and do adult things" or do you think this would upset her? She is still very childlike with childlike interests, but I just don't want to start any drama with the other parents if she starts to upset the kids at all by taking any of their candy or their toys when they open their baskets or go on their egg hunt.
That is why I'm wondering if I should just give everyone else their basket in private (like give it to their parents) and tell the kids in secret to open them at home.
Happy Easter! I think you need to get your sisters and your nieces' opinion, give them a call and ask if she would like to participate with the other children, she may not. Be prepared either way, spend the extra $25 only if you can afford it, you don’t want to have resentment towards her because of money. You could ask your sister to bring something to contribute to her basket. For the egg hunt, could you give each child a different colour of egg to hunt for? That would stop any fighting over eggs. Or make the rule that after the egg hunt all eggs go in one big pile and are divided equally. Give her a seat beside her mother at the adults table but also let her move to the children's table if she would prefer, the children's table might be more fun. If she starts taking the other children's candy or toys let your sister deal with her and continue to host. Let the guests know ahead of time so that they can explain to their children that she may be participating and how to be patient if she does grab something from them, that will prevent any drama. I don’t think you should have to give the baskets in private, you have done all the work to make a lovely party and you should be able to enjoy it. If your sister doesn't think she can handle everyone opening the baskets then give her hers in private instead. It sounds like a wonderful Easter party, and by planning with your sister and not taking on the responsibility of your nieces' behaviour while hosting I am sure you will all have a great time.
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