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Is it bad manners to shorten a person's name when you have introduced yourself to that person using the correct pronunciation of your name?
Just one person, with whom I work, decided to call me Maggie and several others tried calling me Peggy. Both are derivatives of my actual name (which they knew). How would you ask them to use your actual name? I use all their names correctly and always will do that unless or until they ask me to call them anything different. I see no point in their asking me what my name is if they then intend to shorten it. I would never use the shortened version of a person's name unless they asked me to do that.
You would say with a smile “please call me Margaret, I don’t like the short forms” and repeat as often as needed. It is not really bad manners, it’s nothing to get defensive about.
I was in a toy store with my 2 year old son yesterday, and I saw this young man with his father looking at toys. The man was 23 and his father was 64. I had a quick chat with the father and found out his son has an intellectual disability. Ok, I get it, the son is disabled, but that doesn’t give him an excuse to act/live like a 2 year old, and it’s no excuse for his father to condone this. Why is this 64 year old dad still taking care of a 23 year old man anyway? Again, I understand the man is disabled, but he should either be in a special home with staff taking care of him, or be out on his own (if he’s capable), because his dad isn’t going to live forever. Not only that, but like I said, an intellectual disability is no excuse to act like a toddler/child at an older age. The son needs to put away his childish behaviours and interests (that means, stop playing with toys), and his dad needs to treat him more like an adult (sorry dad, no more toy store for your son). My son isn’t disabled, but there is no way I would let him grow up to be like this 23 year old man. Please know that I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just sharing my opinion on this situation. You can choose to agree or disagree with me. What are your thoughts?
I disagree with you completely. That must have been more than a little chat if you got their ages. It obviously made you very uncomfortable to see an intellectually disabled adult, why is this bothering you? I think its lovely that this man’s father is taking care of him and that they were at the toy store, what could be better? He may have the intellect of a child and want to play children’s games and with toys. The 23-year-old man has as much right as you do to go into any store he wants. How else would you like his father to keep him entertained? It’s not your place to worry about who will take care of him when his father is older, for all you know his family has something set up, and he may even outlive his son. It doesn't make any sense to compare him with your own son, they are two different people, or to say what anyone else should or should not do. It is very egotistical to think you know what anyone else should do. You have set a terrible example of narrow mindedness and ignorance and cruelty to you own son if you talked about this in front of him (which I am sure you did because you sound like a horrible busybody). It is good for your son to see all kinds of people, and even better to see you being kind and patient to everyone in stores, regardless of their abilities. I hope you will be more compassionate about people who are not as fortunate as yourself in the future, and if you cannot be, then take my mom's advice, if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all.
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