We both share the same religion and we both don't want kids. We also enjoy binge watching the same type of shows but I think that's the only common ground we have. We got together because we worked well as best friends, but we constantly fight because he feels irritated that he can’t change my carefree ways although I have accepted him and his quietness. He also can be somewhat controlling. I don't know why he can't accept me, but I accept him. We mostly bond over our favorite movies but other than that we don't have any other shared hobbies. we also have the same interest in pursuing higher education but I’m free spirited, fun, outgoing, extremely talkative, love to travel, meet new people, experience new things, make new friends. He resents the fact that I’m free spirited and constantly finds my ways annoying/childish. He thinks I move around too much and that I'm way too talkative. I feel like I can't fully be myself around him because he's irritable at most times. He's more shy, strict, stubborn, stuck in his way, and he doesn’t want anyone questioning his rules and ways. He always says that we are better off with other people who match us better even though I feel like with compromise we can get through anything.
Dear Free Spirit,
I am so glad that you haven’t had children because it sounds like you may be too mismatched to continue this marriage. You are an extrovert and he is an introvert, and while opposites can have fun together it may be too hard for you two to have a happy life together. It’s a red flag that you feel you can’t be fully yourself around him, and you say he is controlling and irritated, neither of which make for a nice life. Make an appointment with a licensed family counsellor to discuss this. If he won’t go please go yourself, because it sounds like you are walking on eggshells and controlling men can become abusive.
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