I’m in a very happy 3-year relationship with somebody I see myself spending my life with and recently we’ve spoken about taking the relationship to the next level (marriage & children). I’m Muslim and my partner is Catholic, and this doesn’t cause any issues in the relationship. We have a clear plan of raising a child learning about both our faiths. However, I’ve asked if we do have children can they abstain from eating pork, and I’d be prepared to making a compromise with anything else. This has been declined by my partner, as he explains he doesn’t want the child to miss out. I’ve said once they reach the age of 16, they can make their own choice, but this has been declined as he is only to compromise and till the child is 4. I’ve even said I’d marry him a church and allow the child to get baptized but he’s declined all that I’m offering. Would be grateful to hear your stories or compromises you’ve made. We are both liberal with our faiths, so it’s not issue being together just when we speak of children and whether they eat pork or not.
It sounds like your boyfriend is not going to budge on this issue. Since he didn’t take you up on your offer to get married in a church and let the possible future child or children be baptized Catholic why don’t you compromise, get married in your mosque and let the child eat pork sometimes, for example when shopping if you buy hotdogs get chicken or beef hotdogs, but if your husband is having bacon and gives some to the child you can remember how you had the wedding your way and compromise by not saying anything. The age of four isn’t a bad idea because children are smart and by then you will have taught the child why you don’t eat pork, and they may or may not agree with you. You may or may not have children, we never know what a day can bring so you might be putting the cart before the horse worrying about it now. If this is something you absolutely cannot compromise with then it would be best to see a licensed marriage counsellor before going ahead and getting married because if it’s a big deal to you now it might become a huge deal later.
I'm planning on buying a beautiful 5-bedroom house. I would like my sister to come since she's the fun type. She can pick out any room except the master bedroom because I'm taking that one.
But I don't want her to bring the Reiki witchcraft with her. She has been practicing reiki for awhile, so she'd likely get mad and upset. She likes to draw and paint too.
I'm okay with painting.
But that stuff will bring a bad presence into the house and I've suffered a lot from attacks. I'm a Christian.
I even plan on fostering pregnant cats, so it'll be a lot of fun
Updated 2 days ago:
She plays with tarot cards too
You can relax because Reiki is not witchcraft, not even close! At the simplest, most obvious level, it appears that Reiki treatment helps lessen the impact of stress, releasing tension from the entire system. Not only does the person move toward his or her own unique balance in body, mind and spirit, but also, depending on the level of physical health when Reiki begins, the body's own healing mechanisms often begin functioning more effectively. If you really are a Christian (I can’t tell by your letter because you sound very judgmental) think of Reiki as the laying on of hands for healing that occurs in the Bible, I believe it’s the same thing. Reiki will not bring a bad presence into the house. If your sister wants to move in and if she is paying rent, she can have what ever hobbies she wants, you do not get to be the boss because you purchased the house. If tarot cards bother you, just let her know that and ask her to keep them in her room. If you continue to suffer a lot from attacks let your family Dr. know.
My mother's friend is angry because my daughter is going to have the same name as her granddaughter. Is her anger justified ? Ever since I was a little girl, I have always known that I was going to name one of my children Elizabeth. I have never told this to anyone except my husband and he adores the name as much as I do. I have also asked him if there are any names he absolutely wants for a girl, but he thinks that Elizabeth is perfect, so that is the name we both chose. Whenever I say the name out loud, I always imagine an independent, capable woman who is self reliant and strong. Qualities that I wish for my own daughter to develop so she would not need to rely on anyone in this world. In fictional stories I have read or watched on television, nearly every woman named Elizabeth acted this way, and that's what mostly made me very drawn to the name. Now, my mother has a friend who's daughter had a baby a couple of years ago had named her Elizabeth. I really didn't care as the woman's daughter and I were never particularly close as children and I haven't seen her in over a decade, nor have I ever met her daughter or plan to meet her kids. It's come to the point where my mother has asked me if I would consider changing the name for the sake of her friendship, but I refuse to. It's something so trivial that she just needs to get over - my daughter will be named Elizabeth and I have absolutely put my foot down on that. My husband also supports me 100% and says that woman needs to get a life. What do you think? Is being angry over baby names ridiculous or somewhat justified?
I think your husband is 100% correct and this person needs to get a life! She is wrong, you can use any name you choose, and it’s none of her business. She is so far off base here I wonder about her mental health! You have already chosen the name; tell your mother it is not open for discussion and don’t discuss it or think about it again. Your mother will have to figure out how to deal with her friend on her own, but she doesn’t sound like much of a friend to me.
There was a customer that was so rude and don’t acknowledge my greeting and was slow at grabbing her stuff so by the time she got to her bags she flailed her arms and put her stuff in the cart while I watched, then when she finally got to the last few items (that didn’t need a bag) she started BAGGING them so just to be a dick I took a HUGE sip of my water and she was so salty after and then when I didn’t count back the change either she stormed off all mad so I said to the next customer “I’m SO SORRY for the extra-long wait ma’am, some people just take their sweet time”. The store director was so salty and butthurt and said it was the last straw and since I have worked under 90 days, he could just fire me, what bullshit.
Yes, you deserved to get fired. The number one rule of working in retail is that the customer is always right. Whether or not the customer acknowledged your greeting should not matter to you at all, you should continue to politely greet everyone if that is what they asked you to do in training. You must also be very patient to work in retail and always count back change correctly. You have a terrible attitude, you are impatient and rude and your boss was correct, you are under probation for the first 90 days which is in place just to get rid of people like you. If you wish to earn money in retail, then you need to take this as a learning experience and if you get another job follow your training exactly and take deep breaths to control yourself and practice being patient, it can be learned and will serve you well in all areas of your life.
The janitor in my job’s building accidentally walked in on me while I was @ urinal. Is it ok that I responded “It’s ok” when she apologized?
Since the urinals are positioned where we’re unable to see who walks in, I only HEARD her. But I recognized her voice. Despite that she obviously didn’t say my name upon saying “sorry,” I think she recognized me from behind, even though I never turned my head. So I feel a little awkward about the next time I’ll pass by her in the office. It’s no biggie what happened, and I have absolutely NO intentions of reporting her for carelessness. Was my “it’s okay” sufficient? I didn’t want to make her feel “wrong” for the rest of the day.
Yes, it’s Ok that you responded “It’s OK” when she apologized. You were caught off guard so she’s lucky you didn’t say something rude. She should feel “wrong” for the rest of the day for coming in without checking first, hopefully she has learned her lesson and won’t do that again, but if she does, I hope you do report it.
My husband, in the year 2005 lost his son (aged 19) in Iraq. At this time my boyfriend was still married to the boy's mother. They divorced in 2007. In 2005 they purchased a grave for their son and for them as well. I met my boyfriend in 2016 and we got married in May 2018. We have no problems. We love each other. He's sweet and all. However, there's a thing that has been bothering me for a while. Last Memorial Day I went with him to see his son's grave. I noticed that there are 2 empty spaces. To make it clear it is written MOTHER FATHER SON. The part under 'SON' is obviously completed. This got me thinking. Even though I know they bought that headstone while he and his ex-wife were still married, it really bothers me if I think about it that one day, he will be buried next to her. I get that he wants to be buried near his son also. I think it would have been cruel to talk about where he will be buried one day, especially on Memorial Day so I didn't say anything. His ex wife is also married as far as I know. As of today, I have nothing to prove that his ex-wife will be buried anywhere else. It may sound silly, but I'd like to be buried next to my husband one day. This thought never really hit me until I saw that grave. What would you do?
I can understand why this would bother you, it’s not silly. It must have been shocking and upsetting to see the grave of a young man killed in war. You were compassionate to not discuss it with him on that day. Your strong feelings about this will likely subside with time and more visits as you accept the things you cannot change. I would discuss it with my husband and ask if he wants to be buried there, and ask if he does, will he share his tombstone and grave with you, if you don’t mind being cremated. You could have WIFE engraved on his stone immediately to match the lettering of FATHER, as well as your names and birth years. If there is any empty plot on the other side of his son perhaps it could be exchanged for the plot your husband currently has so neither of you have to be beside the ex-wife. Depending upon the cemetery's policy, you may be able to have the cremated remains buried on top of the casketed remains of your spouse, or utilize the space provided next to him/her. Many cemeteries allow for multiple cremated remains to be interred in a single grave space. Talk to your husband and the person at the cemetery and go from there.
i, I have a dog I had adopted for about 2 years that has developed a brain tumor and due to his age now seems like the benefit of keeping alive doesn't match well to his living. Unfortunately, I feel in the next few months he might need to be put out of his misery if things progress to get worst. I'm not the wealthiest person so I can't afford really to have him euthanize at home and cremated and I don't have much land to do a burial so what other methods could I peacefully left my dog go. He’s deathly scared of the vet so I don’t have his last moments to be fear Oh and I have thought about a round to quickly get over with but that’s rough.... I really would not like to have to do that. I understand certain laws about this is in place. He isn't at that point yet, but he will be, so I'd like options to be ready and help my friend pass peacefully and happily. Thank you.
Updated 1 day ago:
I should re write this part. I am paying for cremation. What I mean is I can't afford the home euthanize and transport and cremation all at once I have to take care of my family.
How sad, I hope your dog dies peacefully in his sleep. I think the best thing to do would be to explain your lack of finances to the veterinarian, I am sure they will work something out where you can make payments, also the vet will let you know when the dog is in too much pain and it’s time. I was told that if the dog keeps his tail between his legs he is in pain. I know the dog hates going to the vet, but if he is that sick, he won’t mind very much as long as you are with him, and you can’t afford to have the vet come to the house. The vet will take care of the euthanizing and deal with the remains, I don’t think it will be necessary to pay for cremation. If making payments to the vet is out of the question, I suggest you call your local SPCA or animal shelter and tell them the story and see if they can help. I don’t think you should put the dog down yourself or bury him. I can tell you really love your dog and I think he has been a lucky dog. If any readers have any other ideas, please let me know.
We both share the same religion and we both don't want kids. We also enjoy binge watching the same type of shows but I think that's the only common ground we have. We got together because we worked well as best friends, but we constantly fight because he feels irritated that he can’t change my carefree ways although I have accepted him and his quietness. He also can be somewhat controlling. I don't know why he can't accept me, but I accept him. We mostly bond over our favorite movies but other than that we don't have any other shared hobbies. we also have the same interest in pursuing higher education but I’m free spirited, fun, outgoing, extremely talkative, love to travel, meet new people, experience new things, make new friends. He resents the fact that I’m free spirited and constantly finds my ways annoying/childish. He thinks I move around too much and that I'm way too talkative. I feel like I can't fully be myself around him because he's irritable at most times. He's more shy, strict, stubborn, stuck in his way, and he doesn’t want anyone questioning his rules and ways. He always says that we are better off with other people who match us better even though I feel like with compromise we can get through anything.
Dear Free Spirit,
I am so glad that you haven’t had children because it sounds like you may be too mismatched to continue this marriage. You are an extrovert and he is an introvert, and while opposites can have fun together it may be too hard for you two to have a happy life together. It’s a red flag that you feel you can’t be fully yourself around him, and you say he is controlling and irritated, neither of which make for a nice life. Make an appointment with a licensed family counsellor to discuss this. If he won’t go please go yourself, because it sounds like you are walking on eggshells and controlling men can become abusive.
I was in a toy store with my 2 year old son yesterday, and I saw this young man with his father looking at toys. The man was 23 and his father was 64. I had a quick chat with the father and found out his son has an intellectual disability. Ok, I get it, the son is disabled, but that doesn’t give him an excuse to act/live like a 2 year old, and it’s no excuse for his father to condone this. Why is this 64 year old dad still taking care of a 23 year old man anyway? Again, I understand the man is disabled, but he should either be in a special home with staff taking care of him, or be out on his own (if he’s capable), because his dad isn’t going to live forever. Not only that, but like I said, an intellectual disability is no excuse to act like a toddler/child at an older age. The son needs to put away his childish behaviours and interests (that means, stop playing with toys), and his dad needs to treat him more like an adult (sorry dad, no more toy store for your son). My son isn’t disabled, but there is no way I would let him grow up to be like this 23 year old man. Please know that I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just sharing my opinion on this situation. You can choose to agree or disagree with me. What are your thoughts?
I disagree with you completely. That must have been more than a little chat if you got their ages. It obviously made you very uncomfortable to see an intellectually disabled adult, why is this bothering you? I think its lovely that this man’s father is taking care of him and that they were at the toy store, what could be better? He may have the intellect of a child and want to play children’s games and with toys. The 23-year-old man has as much right as you do to go into any store he wants. How else would you like his father to keep him entertained? It’s not your place to worry about who will take care of him when his father is older, for all you know his family has something set up, and he may even outlive his son. It doesn't make any sense to compare him with your own son, they are two different people, or to say what anyone else should or should not do. It is very egotistical to think you know what anyone else should do. You have set a terrible example of narrow mindedness and ignorance and cruelty to you own son if you talked about this in front of him (which I am sure you did because you sound like a horrible busybody). It is good for your son to see all kinds of people, and even better to see you being kind and patient to everyone in stores, regardless of their abilities. I hope you will be more compassionate about people who are not as fortunate as yourself in the future, and if you cannot be, then take my mom's advice, if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all.
I went out with this guy who I met from a dating site. The date itself was good but after the date he texted me saying "You are a beautiful woman but you need some improvements- you are too shy, not that confident, you say sorry too much, my exes were much better than you"
Why would he say such mean things to me????
I am so sorry that happened to you! What a horrible, cruel person he is! Only a very mean person would do that, there is something wrong with him. Block him and don't even consider talking to him again, he is abusive. Do not take it to heart, you didn't do anything wrong, don't change a thing about yourself. Let your friends and family know you would like to date and perhaps someone can se you up on a blind date. I think these are safer because someone who cares about your already knows the potential date and wouldn't steer you wrong. There are dangerous, mean people out there, steer clear of anyone who gives you any red flags whatsoever. Thank your lucky stars that this man showed his true colours so soon.
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