Is it rude when a cousin, I know but not super close to, is in town to call and offer to come by and say hi?
We are not super close as our Moms didn't get along when we were kids but we would see each other once or twice a year at our grandmother's. Ever since my Mom died (15 years ago), I have tried to connect more with her family that she often kept me back from as a kid. So, this cousin is in town with her kids at her Mom's house, my aunt, and I told my aunt "mind if I come by and say hi" and she said sure. Was this rude and is it rude this weekend if I text and say, "what is a good time"?
When my mother first died, I tried too hard to reconnect and make up for being distant as a kid. As a result, I was like a stalker (maybe more like a spammer is). My social skills have improved greatly but I walk on eggshells that I may mess up socially. I am ADHD and have anxiety so stunted a little in social skills even though I am 35.
No, it’s not rude at all to ask your Aunt if you can come by to visit, in fact it’s a perfectly normal thing to do. By all means text or phone and ask when is a good time to come and also ask if there is anything you can bring. If they say don’t bring anything, it would be nice to bring a little treat or something fun for the children. If you feel like it, you can privately let them know about your diagnoses, they will understand and that is what family is for. Plan to stay no more than an hour, unless they invite you to do something with them or stay for a meal. Keep things light and civilized, don’t bring up any controversial topics and don’t react if they discuss anything you personally disagree with, have a nice visit and stay in touch. If this goes well and you would like to see your cousin again while she is there, you could invite her and her children to go for a walk or a picnic. If you stay in touch about once a month by calling or sending a card, you won’t mess up socially or overdo it. It sounds to me that you are doing just fine, and social skills can improve with practice.
I feel like I am anxious all the time due to Covid-19. I am dreading the next year and am worried I shall get sick before the vaccines get to my age group. I am not at work but my son, who lives here is working downtown TO. So, he may bring it home. What is coming scares me with all these new variants,
Signed Stressed Daily
Dear Stressed Daily,
Your feelings are perfectly normal because we are in the middle of a pandemic and our instincts are telling us we are not safe. There is so much we can do to stay safe by following all the precautions and making sure your son does too. We don’t have any control over when we will get our vaccines, try to live one day at a time and don’t let your mind go too far into the future. I think the news is really upsetting all of us too because this is global and there is little we can do. Perhaps cutting back on Covid-19 news (except for what you need to know in your area) will help you feel a little better. Keeping busy helps to take your mind off things too, and a lot of people are doing wills and getting their affairs in order and feel better that they are prepared should the worst happen. Take deep breaths and remember to be grateful every day for what you have. The only way over this is through it, think positive, for example we are further ahead with science and vaccines and know more about this than we did when it started. If you are very concerned about the new variants get ready to lock down with supplies and hobbies. If your anxiety prevents you from sleeping or living as normal a life as possible under these conditions discuss it with a Dr. or psychologist, they are there too help you. Remember that this too shall pass, and in a few years, it will just be a memory.
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