Hiiii Dianna! The past year or so I’ve been feeling like something is missing in my life...and it doesn’t make sense. I am happily engaged, living in a place which I love with a job I enjoy, but I feel like something is wrong and no matter how much I go over everything in my head I can’t work out what it is. I did decide that it was my job and especially the changes to my job with Covid, and I’ve started changing careers a bit but that’s a process. I think that’s the right decision, but it still hasn’t gotten rid of this feeling...I don’t want to change any other major part of my life, what if I destroy it :( so how do I get rid of this feeling? What on earth could it be pointing at?
Do not worry, what you are feeling is very common and you won’t destroy your life. Covid has really changed our lives so much, I think everyone is feeling the way you are to a degree and it will go away once we are past this. Like in wartimes, I think people are also picking up on all the grief in the world. Don’t minimize it, these are hard times. If the upcoming wedding is stressful, consider postponing it until you feel 100% ready. If you felt you needed to make job changes and started towards making them that is fantastic, good for you, that will eventually make a big difference. When is the last time you had your blood checked? Could your iron be low? That would make you feel draggy. What is your dream? Is that something you are working towards? You will feel more fulfilled if you work towards your dream. Are you doing anything creative? We all have creative gifts and will feel flat if we do not use them, no matter what it is take a small step towards a creative project if you haven’t been. You will know the right thing for you when you lose track of time while doing it. Are you getting enough exercise? Are you paying attention to your spiritual health? We are made up of spirit, mind and body and if any of these are neglected you will not feel whole. I figured out a long time ago that I cannot be enthusiastic and depressed at the same time, Abraham Lincoln said you are as happy as you make up your mind to be. Try to be enthusiastic and you might feel better. Make an effort to laugh at everything and anything that’s the least bit funny. There are many studies on the therapeutic effects of laughter, even if it feels unfamiliar at the beginning. Write down at least 3 things to be grateful for everyday, and you will soon feel your spirits lift. As an adult life does not feel fulfilling all of the time, it comes and goes. If none of this helps perhaps you could try journaling. Then you could see what comes out and hopefully you can put your finger on exactly what’s bothering you. Hang in there, it sounds like you are doing great and with a few small changes you will feel even better.
My wife is 10 weeks along she has been having really bad nightmares about me dying in a car crash. That won't happen because I don't drive neither of us do my friend or her brother drives us. She had pretty much the same nightmare about her ex-husband for nearly a year, when she was still married to him he died in a car accident at the end of the year in December a week after his 24th birthday it was just a freak accident that her brothers friend caused it wasn't her fault she keeps blaming herself for it. She felt really guilty she put her 8-year-old son through that he's now 9 going on 10 she's been really depressed over it for the past two years she said they're starting to come back only they're about me this time. She's been waking me up at night last night she woke up screaming I feel out of bed because she scared me, she thought I was mad at her, but I wasn't. How can I comfort her through this? What should I say to her?
I feel so sorry for your poor wife. She hasn’t recovered from the shock and trauma of her first husband’s death and may have PTSD. Now that she is pregnant, she might feel more fearful and have more nightmares. An appointment with your family Dr. would be a good place to start in case she is clinically depressed and needs treatment, especially since she is pregnant. Has she been to any support groups for grief? She needs to see a grief or bereavement counsellor. Your funeral home will be able to help you, and many have a sliding scale to make it affordable. You can comfort her by attending the appointments with her, and you can do everything you can to help take care of her son, staying calm, giving her lots of hugs and flowers, and starting to plan for the new baby. The sooner she gets help for this the sooner she will feel better, but it’s not something you can fix by yourself. Congratulations on your new baby, in my opinion that will help her more than anything.
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