I'm so embarrassed by him. When we first started dating, he told me he wants me to be a stay at home mom. I agreed to do just that. But a month after our wedding, he lost his job. I was the only one working. All he does is laze around and depend on everyone to get things done for him. He won't do anything unless you grab his hand and guide him to where he needs to be. This is a grown 30 year old man by the way. All he does is play victim. He always says how he had it hard in life and no one ever gives him an opportunity. But he literally does nothing with his time. He doesn't even try for himself. He keeps depending on his dad to send him money, so even his dad is sick of him. My husband is a very nice man and I never had someone love me the way he does. But I'm completely tired of him being so useless most of the time. It's been 2 years of patience and dedication and I see nothing happening. He plays victim and blames everyone except getting out there and trying for himself. I talk to him all the time but its always the same thing, victim blaming. When I tell him I will leave him, he tells me to go right ahead if I don't love him anymore. The problem is, I do love him, but he never wants to make things work. No amount of talking ever does anything and it's literally been 2 years and 6 months of trying. On top of all this mess, he's wanting a child and tells me that we should have one and he will find a job as soon as I'm pregnant. It's exhausting dealing with my husband, and I don't know what to do. I never imagined I would have such a lazy man as a husband. I'm completely drained and I'm trying so hard to not think of divorce, but its always at the back of my mind. We aren't even financially stable; we suffer a lot financially and I think I would be better off alone than stay like this. What do you think I should do?
Dear Dianna says...
I think you should be very careful not to get pregnant and get a divorce. Adults don’t change, and he doesn’t have any motivation to work. He charmed you into believing his lies, don’t listen to him anymore, and make plans to move, get him off the lease or whatever you decide to do. I am sure he is a good person in many ways and that there are things you love about him, but if he is not motivated, he will never support a wife and children. He is choosing to be a victim and sounds immature. Sorry to be harsh but I can’t stand freeloaders.
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