My Mother-in-law has been given 4 hours alone time with our newborn every week. She’s only 8 weeks old so far.
Anyway she’s pretty 'in your face' and she’s texting me all the time why she can’t see the baby every day. And when we go over today, she complains one day a week is not enough.
Now, I think 4 hours alone time a week is PLENTY of time, considering my family has only met the baby once. So today was kind of weird. She was cooing at our baby saying 'don’t look at Mum and Dad, I’m your big mummy. Daddy says I get to see you once a week, but that will change, soon I will see you every day my little monkey, you hear me every day'.
I’ve already discussed with my husband that I don’t want to leave my baby for longer than 4 hours, and that once a week is all I can handle (especially settling into parenthood). He’s told her that too, and he agrees with me.
Her patronizing comments still continue and to be honest it’s kind of creepy. It’s gotten to me so much I’ve considered leaving my husband and renting a unit on my own. As extreme as it sounds, I can’t help the thoughts I get :/
Am I crazy or is she going a bit too far?
And also when she looks after the baby, she says she refuses to let her nap or sleep because it’s 'quality time' and she wants to play with her. :/
I am wondering who came up with the four hours a week rule?
Perhaps it is worth reconsidering and being flexible, it sounds very rigid and you can't be rigid with babies, things change so fast. It's nice that you have a grandmother who is willing and able to help.
Ask you husband to tell her firmly that she is not to keep a newborn awake under any circumstances, that it is not healthy for the baby.
Would you be willing to split the time so that she can babysit twice a week for two hours? Would you be willing to let her take the baby for a walk from your house while you rest or shower on the days she's not technically babysitting? She wants to bond with her granddaughter, and seeing or hearing her grandmother is beneficial for the baby, which will benefit you in the long run.
Are you getting enough rest? You are a new mother and still recovering yourself, take advantage of this situation and even ask her for more help, perhaps she would run some errands for you and then stay and hold the baby for a little while. Would you consider asking her to babysit one evening a week so you and your husband can do something together?
I am also wondering why your parents have only seen the baby once? If there is a way to remedy that, try to do so, if they don't live near that is even more of a reason to take advantage of your mother in laws offer to help more, because in the future you may need more help. If there is an emergency, the baby will have someone she knows to take care of her. The baby will grow up loving and having a special relationship with all of her grandparents, including yours. The more people that love her, the better it is for her. Ignore the silly things your Mother-in-Law says, she raised your husband successfully! And be careful not to harm the relationship between your husband and his mother. Try to be grateful, tell her exactly what she can do to help, life is short and you will all miss her when she's gone.
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